Note: The following is Steve's second update, from November 12, 2011, reposted here for those who missed it or would like to catch up.
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Dear friends and family,
Around a week ago I sent notices to many people about the downturn in my health. I did so with
some reservation, because while I thought my family and friends ought to know that a serious
situation had arisen, I didn't want to spread gloom and distress into your lives. You responded-
-nearly everyone to whom I sent a note--with such an astonishing outpouring of affection and
concern, support and well-wishing, that I was truly overwhelmed. I sat in front of my screen and
wept. While it may be true that laughter is the best medicine, there is a lot to be said for tears.
Most of you asked me to keep you informed of my progress, so I am sending a generic message
to all of you. While many of you wrote some very touching personal messages, I just cannot
respond to all of them individually right now. Maybe I'll be able to later, but I can't now. I hope
you understand. I read, reread, and treasure every one of them, and I thank you, inadequately I
am sure.
Many of you offered help, even some of you who live far away. Carol and I will no doubt take
some of you up on those offers. Right now we are managing most matters ourselves, but we
recognize that we may feel different later, and when the time comes, you will hear from us. The
problem that I foresee is that there are simply too many volunteers for the jobs that will need
doing, so some of you who offered so sincerely are not going to be called upon. But we thank
you anyway.
And some of you have passed my information along to others to whom I did not write in the first
place. Thank you very much for doing that. I obviously could not write to everyone, and you
have helped me a lot. I received several notes from people who heard from one of you, and I am
very grateful.
Now for the progress report, such as it is.
There was a change in plan last week and the surgeon I was originally scheduled to meet
determined that I needed the services of a thoracic surgeon, which was not his specialty, and he
referred me to another doctor at the Cleveland Clinic. It took several days to get an appointment
with the new surgeon--largely because of the bureaucratic intricacies of the referral system--but
I am on the books for Wednesday morning of this week. I am also seeing my own primary care
physician on Monday and an oncologist on Friday, so right now I have the feeling that things
are actually beginning to move. I am going to have a series of additional tests--a PET scan, a
pulmonary function test, an endoscopic sonogram, a stress test, and so on.
Now, as far as how I feel. I wish I could make a more upbeat report, but it wouldn't be the truth.
Through all of this I feel pretty much beaten up. I am unable to eat much of anything. I'm able
to swallow applesauce, frozen yogurt, sherbet, jello, and pudding. We're experimenting with
smoothies recipes. I can deal with about a quarter of a cup at a time. I consume something
like 500 calories a day, I'm guessing. Maybe less. At any rate, I'm losing weight very rapidly.
I'm down over 25 pounds in the last month. I have no stamina, and so I lie down, whether or
not I actually fall asleep, several times a day. I'm still not sleeping well at night, even with the
sleeping pill my doctor prescribed. I hope that one of these upcoming visits results in some
advice or procedure that helps alter this current state of affairs. I just feel, as I've said to some of
you before, as though somebody pulled the plug.
On the other hand, I have received enormous comfort from the kind words and encouragement of
so many people. If I begin to feel sorry for myself--and I don't very often--I have only to think
about my loving friends and family, and then I wonder how much luckier could a man be?
How remiss I would be if I didn't acknowledge that Carol has been an unflagging source of help
and understanding through all of this. I haven't needed anything that she hasn't been willing to
do. She once said "in sickness and in health," and she meant it. And my daughter and son and
daughter-in-law have, from their homes in Washington and Boston, worked tirelessly on my
behalf too. The whole family is pulling together, and I could not ask for better.
I have saved every one of your previous messages, and I would be very happy to hear from
you again. I expect to know something more by next weekend, and I will likely send another
message then. I may make use of a website that allows me to upload status reports and you to
access my information at your convenience. I'll let you know about that later.
In the meantime, thank you all very much for your love and concern.
Steve
